Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
