Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
