i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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