I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
