she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
