I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
