A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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