Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
