Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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