Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my liver is dry heaving
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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