But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
