I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
