im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
