god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
