So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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