So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize