just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
