so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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