Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
