Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Quick, to the slutcave!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
