she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
