mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
