No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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