Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
