i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I fill condoms, not promises.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
