just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
