is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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