This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We are two peas in an std pod
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
