We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
