her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
