It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
