they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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