yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
