90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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