rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize