You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
