Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
