how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
