Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
