im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
