all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
