This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
