im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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