She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
