I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
