Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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