Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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