HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize