Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize