living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
