Sponge bath it is.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
