Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
