Sry I called you an 8
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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