im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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