we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize