I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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