How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
