I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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