dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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