My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
