Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
