dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
