I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
