This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
