I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Vodka?
Forever.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
