So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
